the honeymoon is over!

A scene from a hotel room in Cozumel, Mexico sometime last week:

Guest Services: Allo? How can I help you?

Wife: Yes, my husband is barfing and has diarrhea, 
do you have any gatorade or something you can bring up to hydrate him?

Guest Services: We have lemonade...

Wife: That'd be great.

I chose this scene give you an intimate (well, not that intimate) insight into our wonderful honeymoon. but seriously, other than Sr. Montezuma, his Revenge, y Los Tres Amigos de Vomitar, the honeymoon couldn’t have been more perfect.

if you want more exhaustive tales of the honeymoon, click below!

Tuesday morning in the dark city of Los Angeles, the city that never sleeps, it’s early in the morning, a little too early.  the streets are empty at 3:30am which makes the drive to the airport more easy… a little too easy.  The newlyweds wiping sleep from their eyes seek out parking and then their flight only to be greeted by lines of people that are only too too common in this day and age…

[/dark noir introduction]

We got to the airport  way too early but it worked out because it was insane.  Hundreds of people there at 4am, And I think a total of 5 security personnel to get everyone checked.  Since TSA demands we’re there early and we had a lot standing in line to do, we ended up doing what most people do in this situation – we started poking fun of people around us.  Fake Pilot Guy, Old Creepy Face Lift Lady, Child Actors #1 and #2 (who somehow got priority to the x-ray machine & detectors), Permanent Scowl Girl, etc.  It helped pass the time.  The flight to Houston was miserable – cramped and full – Jessie and I both independently contemplated never flying again. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, why don’t they make an airline for Average Americans, instead of emaciated Ethiopians. They could call it “Average American Airlines™”.  and the seats would be larger than 17″x30″.  I’ll pay more if i know what i’m getting. seriously folks. [/rant]

in Houston we decided to eat instead of sitting at the gate (we’d been up since 3am you see.  after our quick not-so-tasty bbq, we arrive at the gate to find out that they’re giving away $400 vouchers to volunteers to give up their seat on the flight.  We laugh about trading one night of our honeymoon for a hotel in Houston. Then we hear “Will passengers Dave Rupert & Jessie Conklin please come to the desk.”  Uh-oh.

Guy: "Computer says you two volunteered your seats..."

Us: "Nope. Impossible. This is our honeymoon."

We didn’t really understand what happened next before we knew it he had printed out 2 tickets and was telling us to get on the plane because it was boarding now and we’re in First Class.

WHOAH!

This NEVER happens to either of us.  NEVER.  it’s like a universal law was broken (like gravity) that states “David Rupert will not be cut any deals on flights, EVER”.  like many other fancy things, it’s obvious that Jess and I don’t truly belong here because we have no idea how things work in the Upper Class.  ”Do we get free drinks?!?  Do we have to pay?!  Should we tip?! I hear there are free drinks! Check the in-flight magazine!”

En Cozumel

Everything is coming up Ruperts at this point.  We get through customs and run into the Transportation Authority and get suckered into a package deal where we got a ride to the hotel, a ferry ride across to Playa Del Carmen (to meet someone from a hotel), 2 days worth of (e)scooter rides, a snorkeling coupon, and a bottle of Tequila.  The Playa Del Carmen Hotel adventure turned out to be a timeshare pitch.  A wonderful deal but let’s be honest, we’re poor newlyweds.  We don’t have this kind of money.  That made the decision easy… as did your actual hotel…

 

This was our hotel, the Wyndham Aura. The story behind choosing this hotel was dramatic and a little more expensive, but it was the best decision ever!  We walked to other hotels during the week and felt like we were at Chuck E. Cheese’s.  This adults only, all inclusive hotel couldn’t have been more perfect for a romantic getaway [/end sales pitch].  we loved the staff and they knew quite a bit about us by the end of the week (see the first conversation).

Don’t Fly Mexicana & Don’t Go To Mexico City International

The week wound up well… well, as well as it could having had my bowels hit with the ancient Aztec curse.  We had a wonderful romantic time and enjoyed every minute that was not spent in the bathroom.

The flight back was miserable. All you need to know is Mexicana Airlines is not air conditioned, the movies don’t work and is overall miserable.  Everything is enhanced by the fact that Mexico City International is the worst airport ever.  The HD screens that tell you your flight information is powered by a computer program from the 1970s. 5 hours before our flight, they hadn’t posted our gate.  30 minutes before our flight… nay! the had not posted it either.  We had to ask a guy in spanish and after a brief radio conversation, he told us “Veintinueve”.  We run over there and no one was at the gate.  The flight was… late?  departed? who knows.

Terrible airport.

Over?

The trip may be over but the honeymoon is not.  Jessie and I are busy unpacking gifts and finding places to store our new (and old) stuff.  We’re busy catching up on So You Think You Can Dance (Dance Dance) and Hell’s Kitchen (Get the #%@$ out!).  Oh and our garden is kicking ass (pictures on flickr and more soon).  Oh, and we got Wii Fit (next post).

If you read all this… I’ll send you an e-card.  Also, photos are on our flickr!